


Nothing to Worry About

by Sandylee007



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Drama, Hurt No Comfort, Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-11-17 16:25:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18102167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sandylee007/pseuds/Sandylee007
Summary: INSPIRED BY 3x14 PROMO                 Unable to stand the powerless existence anymore, Magnus is desperate enough to turn to Lorenzo for help. Does he regain magic with a terrible price?                   MALEC





	Nothing to Worry About

**Author's Note:**

> After watching the 3x14 promo I just couldn’t resist typing this. I’m SO… SCARED! (gulps) 
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I wouldn’t be torturing people with just one episode a week, if I did own something. Just saying… (growls)
> 
> WARNINGS: SPOILERS, mega-load of feels… Woah! That’s a short list.
> 
> So… It’s time to get going. I REALLY hope that you’ll enjoy the ride!

Magnus tried. He honestly did. To cherish the moment… Adjust and cope… Get used to it… But in the end one can only live without a half of their whole being for so long. While he genuinely appreciated Alec’s help and support, he didn’t think his boyfriend could even begin to understand what he was going through.

He might’ve eventually learned to handle being a hollow, withering shell of the man he used to be. The gaping hole in his soul and the constant phantom pain where his magic was supposed to be were worse. The unbearable part… That was feeling completely and utterly useless.

He couldn’t do anything more than hold Alec’s hand when his beloved had an arrow in his chest.

He wouldn’t have managed to stop Iris from taking Madzie, from his own home which used to be a safe place.

When it turned out that Clary was alive, after all, he wasn’t able to do much of a thing to bring her back home. And when she eventually was brought back and the toxic bond that’d been forced on her was revealed… He was equally helpless.

Izzy was the final straw.

She trusted him and believed in him enough to come to him in her time of need. (Just like he asked her to do after he first found out about her addiction.) With desperate eyes and trembling hands she begged for his help. And he couldn’t do anything.

He was officially done with being unable to help when the people around him were in danger and suffered.

For two nights straight after telling Alec about Izzy Magnus couldn’t sleep a wink. The phantom pain raged and boiled under his skin. Stung so viciously that if it wasn’t for Alec sleeping beside him he would’ve screamed. During those endless, agony filled hours of sheer torture he had far too much time to think. And study.

Until he found a way. A hazardous, potentially deadly way. Something so risky that only someone who hated him would help him go through with it.

In his despair Magnus could only come up with one option.

He swallowed all the pride he’d still had left. Took a deep breath. And bargained with Lorenzo Rey. “Please, help me get my magic back.”

/

Alec received what the Shadowhunter suspected was a smoothened version of the events. And while he was immensely relieved that Magnus had his magic, his very self, back… A part of him was instantly on high alert. (Especially because Lorenzo, of all people, was the one who provided his assistance.)

He failed to notice Izzy’s addiction. He didn’t realize that his own parabatai was possessed until things had gone too far. He wasn’t going to let himself fail someone he loved a third time.

Magnus countered his voiced suspicions with deviously believable comforting lines, then deflected the conversation elsewhere. Alec refused to let himself be fooled. He’d seen far too many times how good at hiding his true emotions and pain Magnus was when he wanted to be. And he wasn’t planning on falling for that act again when the man he loved needed him the most. So the archer remained on guard, like a true Shadowhunter.

It was the most torturous game of hide and seek he’d ever played.

And it eventually ended to a nosebleed.

They were working together at the Institute when Alec caught the way Magnus continued to squint his eyes and flinch at every noise. A frown furrowed his brows. “Headache?” Dread swell in the pit of his stomach.

“Hmm.” As was his custom, Magnus waved a dismissive hand in a ditch effort to chase away his alarm. “Nothing to worry about. I’ll fix a potion for it soon.” That was almost convincing. Until the warlock blinked slowly, and brushed the skin under his own nose. “Oh…” The fingers came back stained with red.

In a flash Alec rushed to get something to help with the unexpected nosebleed. While they tried to staunch the problem his concern transformed to razor-sharp panic. “Magnus… You’re hiding something from me. This confirms it.” His tone was harsher than he’d intended but he couldn’t bring himself to regret it. “What is going on?”

Magnus refused to meet his eyes. It took a couple of full minutes before the man found his voice. By then the bleeding had stopped. “The way I regained my powers… It has certain… risks involved.” The warlock swallowed thickly, a haunted look appearing to his eyes. “The magic I obtained isn’t my own. And… It seems my body may be rejecting it.”

That… sounded horribly ominous. Alec could recall few occasions in his life when he would’ve felt that cold from shock. “What?” he managed. And then, as happened regrettably often, his terror exploded in rage. “Magnus, how could you take such a stupid risk?”

Pain flashed in Magnus’s eyes. Sharp, unguarded and raw. “Because living without my magic was worse than death!”

Those words, if possible, made Alec hurt even more. (To have the love of his life admit that he’d rather die than live without his powers… How was he supposed to process that?) “Don’t you remember how I told you that I can’t live without you?” He was somehow able to sound angry, loving and desperate all at once. “Magnus, I won’t lose you! I can’t!”

Magnus snorted with bitterness neither of them had expected. “Yet you thanked me when I promised that I’d give my life to save Jace. And stood by when I went to Edom.” That outburst had probably festered for a long time. It was difficult to say which one of them was more shocked by it. In a few moments something so trivial didn’t matter.

Magnus’s lips opened, most likely for an apology. Until color drained from the warlock’s face and the man swayed hazardously. Alec moved instantly to support his boyfriend, his heart aching and thundering in his chest. “Magnus? Are you okay?”

Magnus blinked very slowly, once, twice. Tried to focus on him but failed. A new trickle of blood meandered from the man’s nose. “I’ll… I…” Then the warlock’s eyes closed and he slumped to the archer’s arms, unconscious.

“Magnus!”

**Author's Note:**

> So… Ouch! (winces) I’m on pins and needles, waiting to see how they resolve this whole thing on the show. Something wicked s coming, I can just feel it… (gulps) 
> 
> This story will be just a oneshot. Because I’m expecting the show to solve this problem. That is, unless the creators of the show succeed in triggering my inner muses. (chuckles)
> 
> SOOOOO…. Thoughts? Comments? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! Every comment makes my heart rejoice.
> 
> THANK YOU, for taking the time to read this! Who knows. Maybe I’ll see you again?
> 
> Take care!


End file.
